


Bed

by DivinusQualia



Series: Needing [9]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Acceptance, Apologies, BAMF!Takao, Gen, M/M, Mention of Therapy, Post Rape, Reconciliation, Regrets, Sad, Sticking up for Rape Victim, The Author Regrets Everything, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-25 14:29:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/954212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivinusQualia/pseuds/DivinusQualia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hoping to post every Wednesday! It's got to go up from here. :)</p></blockquote>





	Bed

It's been almost 2 months since Shintarou denied me into his home. I managed to control my texts and calls-especially since the only reply came from the foolish Takao or a simple 'no' or 'stop'. I'd researched myself. My behavior. I'd planned grand apologizes and organized for sweet gifts, but I admit to myself that I was afraid of rejection again. So the gifts lay in the corner of my room, and the apologizes stay trapped on the tip of my tongue. Tetsuya came by, with his oaf Taiga, and his translucent eyes questioned me but he didn't comment on the wrapped boxes.  
"Midorima-kun is doing well, I hear. His shot is slightly off in practice. It still goes in, but... It's off." His eyes search my face and I turn away.  
"You, Taiga, leave those gifts alone." 

I scrounge my heart for any reason to keep calling, and I find one reason not to that keeps me shying away from his number in my phone: He doesn't want me to call. I keep this in mind as I complete my research. The last thing a rape victim wants is to be continually harassed by their assailant. Because I have determined my role in that night over 2 months ago. I wasn't charged, or convicted, but I was shunned and denied. I still haven't taken any of the students at Rakuzan up on their offers, their bodily offerings to me. I can't take a chance with them, they are no Shintarou. I prefer to keep to myself, more than normal, curled vulnerably on my bed and praying Shintarou will forgive me eventually. 

It's during one of these secret worshipping moments, 6 months later, that I am interrupted. By the shaggy haired servant that trails Shintarou like an over grown puppy.  
"Why are you here?" I immediately sit up in bed and the rude, overly personal bastard sits right next to me.  
"Shin-chan sent me to see if you became less of an asshole."  
"Shintarou sent you?" Every prayer from my lips has been answered with a foolish angel.  
"Of course not!" He crushes my hopes and his imagined angel wings vanish. "I still don't know what you did to him, but he's not handling it well. You should apologize."  
"I've tried. He refused."  
"That was then. This is now." Kazunari shrugs.  
"You don't know what I did to him."  
"You want to tell me?" He tilts his head like a retriever with a bone and I shake my head. "At least let me help. Shin-chan's my best friend." He stands to acquaint himself with my room, his hands touching absolutely everything they can, and he halts at the pile of gifts.  
"Were these for Shin-chan?"  
"Of course."  
"I assume they each have matching apologizes?" He don't wait for my answer. "Return these gifts, or donate them-whatever rich people do-but only bring your apologies to Midorima-kun. And don't be an asshole." He chirps the last sentence and skips through my door with a flourish. I give the presents to the servants. 

When I return from school one day, it surprises me-but it shouldn't-to find my phone highlighting Shintarou's number. It hasn't felt so vital that I contact him in these past 8 months, and my prayers have gotten more desperate since my visit from Kazunari. I wonder if Shintarou will ever want to see my face again. But I doubt it. Nevertheless, I must try. Akashi's do not easily relinquish their hold on-Shintarou is not my property. I casually remind myself of this fact every few day, when I feel the urge to march back to his home and demand he take me back, take me in, take me out. I press the number to call. It's still early when I call, but I somehow expect him not to answer but his voice is smooth over the phone. Almost happy.  
"Hello? This is Midorima." I'm so shocked at my own heart clenching painfully I don't reply.  
"Hello?... Takao, there was someone bre-" There's a click in my ear and I realized I've missed my opportunity. I quickly call back, but as expected he doesn't answer. Must have checked his caller ID. I check myself into therapy over the phone. 

14 months and 25 days after I assaulted Shintarou, his name makes my phone ring. I stare at the caller ID until I realize its the last ring and I scramble to answer.  
"H-Hello? Shintarou?"  
"I heard you went to therapy." He sounds stiff over the phone, but it's probably just me, or rather his reaction to me.  
"I did." I'm quick to admit it, I don't even care that someone has outed me. "I'm so sorry, Shintarou. I know I learned it's too late to say that, but I need to say it! I'm so sor-"  
"Is anyone going to be home with you tomorrow?" Shintarou is businesslike, efficient.  
"I... Yes. Someone is always here." There's static through the line but its most likely Shintarou moving around.  
"I'm coming tomorrow. And I'm bringing Takao."

Kazunari enters my house first, with a hard shove right at my chest. I'm stunned by the immediate violent action, enough so that he can pin me to the wall and hiss into my ear.  
"I came here looking to help make you friends again. But Shin-chan told me what you did and now I don't think you deserve him. But he's decided to move on, to forgive you for hurting him. But I'm here to make sure you never get another chance. And I swear to god if you get around me, I'll fucking kill you, Akashi." I don't know what else to do but nod and he drops me. Shintarou comes second, his head bowed but back straight. I'm not sure if he's afraid or not honoring me with meeting my eyes.  
"Shintarou." His name eases off my lips, finally spoken, and he looks at me.  
"Akashi." He doesn't move from the doorway and I'm quick to motion him inside.  
"Please,there's no one in the kitchen. Would you-"  
"No. We're going to your room." Shintarou's eyes are green steel, even as Kazunari throws him a questioning glance. But he doesn't understand, all our escapades happened at Shintarou's home. He's never been in my room.  
"Okay." I submit. It's an easy way to show my change and Shintarou's seems surprised by the easy victory. I lead them up the stairs, pausing to send a maid down for some water, and stop at my door. As much as I'm willing to show I've changed, I refuse to let just anyone into my home within the house, and state as much.  
"If Kazunari could wait outside..." I wait and Shintarou nods. Kazunari takes up a soldiers positions to the left of the door and freezes there.  
"Shin-chan, if you need anything.."

I'm still unsure about Shintarou's feelings. He's busy cataloging my room with his eyes but is just as figety at Kazubari.  
"Why did you do it?" His eyes don't meet mine and I'm surprised by the suddenness.  
"I... I wanted something and I just took it.  
"And took it, and took it, and took it!" Shintarou's yelling voice was a shock. He's usually so composed. But I did this. The voice is my head repeats this over an over, it's not a chant of success or a mantra to follow. It's my shame and fear and pain-none of it even coming close to rivaling what I've done to Shintarou.  
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Shintarou. I'm sorry!" I don't feel the tears until they drip off my nose. I'm kneeling before Shintarou, my head bowed to accept my fate of either a beheading or a purging of my sins. "I'm so goddamn sorry." Shintarou's feet move on the edge of my vision and I realize he's kicked his shies off. He pulls me up to him and wipes my face with his handkerchief, I have been purged. I am a child, coddled in his arms and he lays us both down in my bed. My mother used to pray with me when I was a child. I'd knelt by this very bed as she stood over me and I repeated every verse spoken. As I am cloaked in what I have left of Shintarou's innocence and strength, he renews me. I am reborn. 

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us  
And lead us not into temptation  
But deliver us from evil. 

And let me be purified on a bed that Shintarou's skin has never known.

**Author's Note:**

> Hoping to post every Wednesday! It's got to go up from here. :)


End file.
